I’ve had it with going green. I’m sick of the obsessive drive I’ve had for years to reduce my impact on the earth to zero. Does that mean I’m just going to screw the future and party while the earth burns? No. It just means I’m not going any further than I already have.

Here’s a snapshot of green me. I believe climate change is a grim reality that requires urgent and sweeping action. I run two websites devoted to educating others about urgent and diverse ecological issues. Half the clothes I wear I’ve owned for over 5 years and I don’t buy many new gadgets or appliances. I’ve had my desktop computer for seven years and my one and only cell phone is about to turn 3 in August. I drive a fuel-efficient car, take the metro whenever I can, walk like a nomad, and only take two short flights a year. I don’t have children. I wash my clothes with cold water and use natural cleaners. I turn lights off when I’m not using them, turn off my oven for the last few minutes of cooking, and buy produce in season. I recycle compulsively, take navy showers, and even have a brick sitting in my toilet tank to reduce my water usage with each flush.

Those are just a few things I’ve done in order to help the global effort to use less and conserve more. But there are some things that I simply won’t do and am going to stop trying.

One thing I’m not going to do is go vegetarian or vegan. I’ve tried it two or three times and I have no remorse declaring what a monumental load of suckage it was. Tofu, veggie burgers, and imitation meat are all disgusting in varying degrees. Tofu is good in stir-fry, but not much else. It’s annoying as hell to dry out sopping-wet blocks of it, get marinades to stick to it, and cook cubes of it evenly. Why the hell would I hassle myself trying to make a soggy pan of neon-yellow scrambled tofu when I can just throw some organic, cage-free eggs in there and have a satisfying meal? Why would I choke down whatever the hell a veggie burger is when I can just cut down on the amount of hamburgers I consume?

I suppose I don’t literally NEED meat, but I nearly do. It’s biologically very difficult for me to subsist on a vegetarian diet. I’m not a petite, slim girl who can get away with a dinner of edamame and some steamed quinoa. I’m a 6′2″ athletic man whose metabolism has run like a proton accelerator for his whole life. I need several thousand calories a day and I need protein. Yes, I do drink supplements, but I sometimes like to nibble on something other than chocolate-flavored powder. I love meat. It’s the cornerstone of signature dishes in nearly all ethnic cuisine. And since I love to cook and enjoy that facet of humanity, I’m going to eat meat. A couple of days a week I’ll whip up some meatless chili, stuffed shells, or grilled portabello caps. I’ll continue my avoidance of fast food and processed meat. But that’s it.

I’m also not going to drop hundreds of dollars on expensive green do-dads like solar chargers, portable wind turbines, or new appliances. I eke out a living on a nonprofit salary supplemented by the money I manage to scrub writing penny blogs like these. I rent, so it doesn’t make sense for me to splurge on an energy star washer and dryer when I’m likely to move out the next year. And given I only have a pittance left over from my paycheck after taxes, loan payments, and insurance, you can be damn sure I’m going to spend it on booze and music, not on something that will save the world 0.1 kw of electicity in a year.

But most importantly, I’m not going to deny that I live in the United States. Because of our infrastructure and energy options available, there’s only so much I can do to have a comparable carbon footprint to someone in Burundi or Ed Begley. The plain truth is, I don’t WANT to live like someone in Burundi and I don’t think I should be expected to. I like medicine, rapid transportation, nutritious food, and other amenities that my country provides. And while I’ll gladly exercise, drive less, and reduce my meat consumption, I’m not going to give up those amenities entirely out of guilt of living in a developed nation.

So, I’ve had it with going greener than I’ve already gone. I’m not going to continue to try and squeeze out a fart of carbon savings from my already reduced usage and make my life miserablely obsessive in the process. I’m going to reduce as much as I can and pay for a couple hundred dollars worth of carbon offsets a year. That covers double the amount I produce and I’m glad to pay for it in order to help reduce emissions, reforest the world, help with conservation efforts, and spur alternative energy projects. But I’m not going to become a nut-crunching ascetic, especially not if a majority of the people in my country are more inclined to believe in the tooth fairy than global warming. I’ll do my part, but I’m not going to give up my life just to make up for someone else’s intransigence. And I’m not going to be lectured to by people who can go commendably go farther than me, but attack me for not following suit. I’m greener than most. Live with it.

*photo by clurr on Flickr Creative Commons